First in a Series of #ConversationsAroundConsent Gives Us Food For Thought

Good Music Good People Show hosted Conversations Around Consent at Terra Cafe in Baltimore on Saturday, January 3, 2015. It was a lively discussion and the point that is clear is that the conversation is very necessary. 

Before the actual event, we asked some questions via social media, and got MANY responses! Super EXTRA SHOUT OUT to DJ BLACKROOT (so dubbed by Marc Evans) for contributing over a dozen songs to the list! Such songs as….

Look out for a link to the playlist that we are creating from the submissions!

Some of the major takeaways from Conversations Around Consent

were:

  • we need more conversations around consent. Many people want a quick clear yes with an explanation of what yes is/looks like, but do not always know what that looks like from person to person. We need to cultivate safe spaces for conversations to happen so that men and women can define, educate, and mitigate discrepancies in their perspectives and meet on common ground, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation or proclivities.

  • we need to create a bridge between younger and older people. Young people are saying that they are starting the conversations around consent on their own via social media channels such as tumblr, but really want guidance in these conversations around consent and moving forward.

  • we need to know what loving and respecting ourselves look like first in order to understand our own boundaries and what consent means to us. We need peer sex educators, particularly for high school students. Also, we need to push the conversations forward, and to advocate for consent education to be a part of sex education curriculum in schools.

The parting question is one YOU can answer as well… What are your sexual commitments to yourself this year? Post your comments below, and share this article! Reblog it so that others can start to participate in this conversation as well!

What is Good Music Good People Show doing?

  • We are listening! That is why the next #conversationsaroundconsent is already scheduled for April 7! This time, we will be talking about bridging the generational gaps, based on feedback and demands from one young man at the first conversation.

Calls to Action

  • Research! Look for articles, new reports, and first-hand accounts related to consent, and the many issues surrounding it. Better yet, focus on a point that resonates with you, and become a specialist. This is especially true in terms of how you get involved/contribute.

  • Share! Talk to your friends, family, and peers/colleagues about consent. What are their understandings of the term/issue? What questions do they have? Have they been impacted by an issue around consent? How? Do they need support in some way? What resources do they need? Share what you find, your questions, and your thoughts! Make sure you tag with #conversationsaroundconsent so that everyone can have access to the information!

Special acknowledgements to Hannah Brancato, co-founder of Force and the Monument Quilt for helping to educate where we were less informed, Sharon Immatellmuva Childs, for inviting Good Music Good People Show into Terra Cafe, and to all of the participants in the conversation, for pushing up to learn more and do more about sparking #conversationsaroundconsent!

Conversations Around Consent

Consent FlyerJoin us in Conversations Around Consent.

What is consent? Is it always clear between two people? The New York Times recently wrote an article, “Accusers and the Accused, Crossing Paths at Columbia”. The article highlighted an incident where a young woman accused a male student of rape. Columbia cleared the young man of responsibility. The young woman, in an effort to make the university and other students see the pain she carried began carrying around her mattress with the words “carry that weight” taped on it. This sparked a large movement across multiple campuses. What’s interesting and necessary to discuss is that not surprisingly both students have very different views of what happened and both feel like the university let them down. She feels he should have minimally been removed from campus and he feels as if she has been allowed to create a movement where a large sect of the community has publically bullied him for something he has been cleared of. Read the entire article here.

This incident begs the question–how are we preparing young people to navigate these tricky situations. When you have “the talk” with you kids, does consent come up as part of it? Is consent part of the sex education curriculum in schools? Should it be? All too often when discussing these very complex situations, there’s a tendency, if discussed at all, to focus on the obvious and the stranger. But what is really needed is a discussion on how to handle situations that involve those people who are close, who we know, who we trust. While calculating the frequency is fraught with challenges, estimates indicate that 1 in 7 women will experience some sort of sexual assault before they graduate college. When choosing a college for yourself or your kids do you think about sexual safety or the university’s practices as it relates to this?

There have been groups like Ultra Violet pushing for including how a university handles  sexual assault allegations as part of the college rankings that groups like the Princeton Review puts out. Read more here.

Also, these conversations have a tendency to be one-sided. When the truth is that they are very complex. It’s vital that we have the same conversations with our young men and our young women and are inclusive of our young people who are involved in same sex relationships as they have the same level of complexities when  it comes to these  issues.

Join us Saturday, January 3 from 1 to 3 pm at the Terra Café located on 101 E. 25th Street to continue the discussion.

For now post your comments and thoughts below, on our facebook page, our facebook group, or send  to us @ GMGPSHOW on twitter.